In times of heightened activity, it is easy to slip into feeling helpless. We want nothing more than to be of service and helpful. Because of our limitations, people feel like we are better off not participating in the work, but rather just enjoying the activities. Indeed, this is usually opposite of what is best for our mental health. Feeling like a burden is a common issue with the chronically ill.

But we are capable! We can do many things! These feelings can be avoided through some simple communication of our needs. Often, the care giver feels like they are doing a favor to the patient by letting them rest and not worry about the minutiae of a task. The patient desires to be in the minutiae of a task. HOD Heroes need to useful, and at times, doing small tasks to be helpful can boost the mood and give a lofty assist to flailing mental health.

Having the helpless conversation

It is challenging to open a conversation when your feelings are hurt. Especially when that conversation might hurt the feelings of a loved one. It is up to the patient to initiate this conversation and ask that they be included. They can then offer areas where they feel comfortable and safe in helping. Perhaps emptying the dishwasher isn’t a safe way to help. But sitting and slowly folding clean clothes is doable. It is possible to have this conversation in a productive way without anyone leaving the conversation wounded.

It is important to not use accusatory language. For example, instead of saying “You never let me do anything!”, you could say, “I would really enjoy helping. Maybe I could try helping with dinner tonight by using my adaptive cutting board “. You can see where the language is more conducive to cooperation and not argument. Why not work together to find things that both parties feel safe and comfortable with. It will always depend on safety and feasibility. It is not safe for a person with HOD to get on a ladder and change air conditioning filters. But it can be safe to help prepare a meal.

Volunteer your way out of the rut

When you hear the word ‘volunteer’, what comes to your mind’s eye? Are you having to wake up early on a weekend and travel to a place to cheer on strangers running a 5k race? Maybe you are still waking up early and still travelling to a non-descript warehouse to pack food boxes up. What if we told you that it doesn’t have to be like this? HODA has opportunities for you to volunteer from the comfort of your own home? All you need is a technology device that is connected to the internet. Many of our positions can be done at your convenience too! How great is that?

We hear from our volunteers that their work is exceedingly rewarding. If you don’t feel like being an HOD Ambassador is your thing, not to worry! There are other ways you can help. Do you enjoy planning events? Why not help us plan the annual HOD Awareness Day event? Maybe you are a creative and love social media. Consider helping us with our social graphics! Everything that we do requires a volunteer and a helping hand. We think that you should give it a try and see if you like it. What do you have to lose, other than that feeling of being helpless?

Your Turn!

Tell us how you get out of the helpless rut. Have you volunteered before? What are your good AND bad experiences? Tell us in the comments.